Happy February! The love month!!
This month began in a bittersweet way for me. I have been through some challenges this last year that have encouraged me to really look at how I care for myself, especially in relation to really spending time with me, in deep listening. And, I can happily say that my commitment to myself and living to my highest potential is even higher than ever and that indeed, I am giving myself a lot of love these days.
At the same time, I just got word that my divorce is final.
The two processes divorcing and disengaging from a very important and substantial 20 year relationship, while at the same time recognizing that even with the most sincere intent to engage in radical self-care, I had let myself put my marriage above the relationship I so desire with myself, even as it became more and more clear that the marriage was not sustainable, has been amazing food for thought and growth even if sometimes frustrating, disheartening and downright sad.
That said I feel like I have come through a very powerful time with again, a deeper and richer relationship with me. As one door closes, the opportunity is there to turn around, look down the hall and see all the other doors and choose, anew. And while my relationship with self is not new, I am enjoying the opportunity to see myself newly, embarking on new roles, reinvigorating old interests that had been set aside and simply enjoying each day as it comes.
As Derek Walcott so beautifully says in his poem “Love After Love”,
“There will come a day when with elation you will greet yourself
arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile
at the other’s welcome and say sit here …………feast on your life”
May you in this month of love enjoy all your relationships including and perhaps more than any other, the one with your very special someone, you!